Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

I was tired of trying and failing.

Do you think the beginning of movies is often better than the rest of the film? Is this a common opinion or do others share this view?

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

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Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

It’s here now, writing to you.

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I had run out of hope.

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

The sadness was still there.

One day, I happened to walk past where my crush was with friends. Then all of a sudden they start laughing, and someone maybe him, goes "freaking (my name) with her freaking hair!" Can anyone offer insights into this? We're in middle school.

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

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And the sadness?

Be who you already are.

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

What are the logical reasons against requiring an ID to vote in the USA? If the government offered to provide IDs for this purpose I fail to see why people are against it.

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

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I was tired of fighting.

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

You are like me, then.

Why were the Japanese soldiers in WW II so hesitant to surrender in battle?

It’s still here.

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

Why doesn't speeding significantly decrease one’s commute time? I've done a lot of road trips and driving and have experimented by increasing speed by 10–20%, but somehow this never equates to arriving 20% sooner, even on clear roads.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.